Introducing...(Drum Roll Please)...Ramen, the Drain Killer!
Updated: Feb 7
Before we get started, let's get something straight. Ramen does sound like a boy's name, but I assure you that I am a queen - a glorious, wonderful, magnificent queen. Now that that's all settled, let me tell you a little about myself.
I was born on a chilly November day somewhere in the United States and am just about a year and a half old now. I really can't say what my life was like before April 2022...Okay, well, it's not that I can't say, it's more like I don't feel like telling you. The past is the past, and there's no sense in dwelling on it.
How much is that kitty in the window?
Anyhoo, I was lounging in my cage - yes I said cage - minding my own business, when some humans came along and decided to give me a home. Now, I don't mind telling you that I was excited to be out of the pet store. Sure, I was plenty nervous too, but, come on, I was living in a cage in a PET SHOP! Who in their right mind wants to live in a pet shop? Not me!
Okay, okay, okay, so the humans took me home and I have to admit that I liked the looks of it. Plenty of space and nice big windows to look out of. It was amazing! Now, I know some cats think of humans as their household staff, but not me. To me, they are my family.
So, the first thing that "mamma" (that's what I call the female human) did was give me a tour of the house - the litterbox, food and water dishes, and many possible sleeping spots.
The cool spots!
Mamma says that I'm odd, and that she can't figure me out, because I like to hang out on narrow, solid surfaces like the footboard on the bed and the back of the chair. I don't think there's anything weird about it. I mean the wood is much cooler than the
bed itself or the chair seat - which, by the way, I like to rest on as well. But that's when I want to cuddle with my little "sister", Cricket.
I won't say anything more about her because she has to tell her own story.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, Mamma showed me one of the best things in the whole house - the water bowl. I guess most cats don't like to get wet, but it doesn't bother me. When I first moved in, I had the best water bowl to splash in. One night, after Mamma had gone to bed, I wasn't tired yet, so I stayed up. I looked at the water bowl and it cried out to me like it was saying, "Come play with me!". It was so enticing. I approached it quite willingly and began a wonderful game of Splash Paws. In fact, I was so absorbed that I didn't hear Mamma enter the kitchen. I might have laughed when she stepped in the large puddle that I'd made on the floor, but then I saw her face. She was not amused.
So, she took away my water bowl and got me a water fountain instead. It's okay for drinking from, but I can't play with it. Do you think that stopped me? Come on, guess! Oh, fine, if you won't even try, I'll just tell you. No, it did not stop me. I discovered the large bowl in the bathroom that Mamma calls a "toilet". I think it's the human's "litter box" but it's not filled with sandy stuff like mine is. No, it's filled with...wait for it...yup, it's filled with WATER! Yay! I could play with the toilet water! But, sadly, not for long. Mamma figured that out too and started keeping a lid on it so I couldn't get in. Party pooper, Mamma.
Right into the danger zone!
Another place that I found that has water, at least sometimes, is the sink. I like the sink - a lot. Not only does it have water in it sometimes, but it also had this black chewy thing at the bottom in the middle. So, when the sink was dry, I started playing with it instead. It was kind of tough to get started. At first I had to stick my whole head into the hole so I could get a good grip on it, but my goal of killing it was soon realized. The black thing was dead!
Mamma didn't approve of me killing the black thing. She said it was the garbage disposal splash guard, that I could have been killed, and that she was going to have to replace it. Now she keeps a plug in the hole so I can't kill the new one. Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted.
Killing it slowly!
Well, Mamma gave it some thought and realized that I was bored and needed something to kill if I wasn't allowed in the water, so she gave me a "box" that I could annihilate. She said that it was all mine and I could tear it apart if I wanted to. I studied the box. Four sides, a bottom, no top. I could climb inside of it, and it smelled amazing! Oh, and the joy of sinking my teeth into it's mildly crunchy sides was really satisfying.
And, the best part was, I could kill it slowly while I sat inside of it.
I didn't know what was happening when Mamma started "decorating" . She said it was "Christmas time", and sang songs while she did all kinds of stuff around the house that made no logical sense to me, until she brought in the Christmas Tree. That's a dead tree that you put in the house while it still smells like outside. I wonder if Mamma killed it and dragged it home all by herself?
Oh, it was confusing at first, watching her hang glittery things all over it, after she'd put in in a shallow bowl. But then she added water to the bowl and I knew exactly what Christmas was all about.
Christmas is all about slashing!!!!
I had so much fun in that pool, then Mamma did the unthinkable. She brought home a Cone Of Shame for the tree. I couldn't believe it! She actually blocked off the best thing about Christmas!
I could go on and on about how I like to cuddle and play with Mamma, but my time here is up. I hope you enjoyed reding about me. And, please tap the heart if you liked it and subscribe.
Next up is my sister, Cricket! Don't miss her post!
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