Sam, the "hello" kitty.

This is a very good likeness but it's not Sam.

As you see from the above title, my name is Sam. Not Samuel or Samson, just plain Sam. As for the "hello" kitty part, I'll get to that in a minute. First, I'd like to tell you a bit about myself since I moved into my current home.

How it all began

I moved into the neighborhood some time back; into a crazy house full of tiny humans who didn't do anything for me, a bunch of other cats that beat me up, and a large human slave that was never home to take care of me. In fact, all of us cats were kicked out of the house from dawn until late into the night - oh, the indignity - and had to fend for ourselves.

Well, I did what I could to find food and water during the day, but it was hard because the other cats always ran me off and ate the food themselves. But, one day, I met a lady who took pity on me and made sure I had all the food and water I needed. You see, I had become really thin and weak from lack of food, and I had something that the human called Giardia, as well as worms. So, she gave me medicine to get rid of it all - along with something to get rid of my fleas - and I began to heal and gain weight. I liked that lady very much and went to see her everyday. Eventually, I didn't even go back to the crazy house, I moved into the nice lady's garage where I had all my needs taken care of. She was a good slave and did her job well. But, I wanted more...

Time to decide

I wanted to go inside where she lived. It was hot in the garage and I was still too thin, and was still getting beaten up by other cats. Things had to change so, one day, I made up my mind to have my new slave full time. I was going in!

I waited for a rainy day, when the drops were large and cold, and ran in as soon as she opened the door. Seconds after I entered, I saw that she also had a few other cats, but they didn't want to fight, so it was all good. No one ran me away from the food and I was given vitamins once a day to help me heal. Over time, the sores that the fleas had made went away and I was almost at a normal weight. I don't think I was missed at the crazy house because no one made me leave my new slave's home. But, that doesn't mean that I want to be a full time house cat. No, I have a newly found reputation to uphold, so I go in and out as I please.

Listen! I am speaking English you know!

I said that I would get to this, so here it is. My current human slave talks to us constantly about everything, and most of the time I don't mind, but when I want out, I want out immediately. The same goes for when I want back in. My slave understood what I wanted some of the time, but that wasn't good enough for me, so I decided to make myself understood all the time. I learned to say three words - the only three words that mattered to me.

"Hi!"

"Hello!"

and...

"Out!"

So, when I want to go outside, I walk through the house yelling at the top of my voice, "Hi! Hello! Out!" or "Hello! Hi! Hello! Out!". It took some time to train the human slaves so that they realized what I wanted when I yelled at them like that because I also yell like that when I want in the bedroom and the door is closed. I think maybe they learned that I yell at them when I want them to open a door for me. After all, I don't have thumbs and they do. Plus it's their job to tend to my every whim; isn't it?

It's all mine!

Just a small side note before I go. This is me when I claimed the Amazon box right after the human removed the books. I was impatient too because it was obvious that she ordered the box for me and she just used it to carry those dumb books. I see no benefit in books unless you're going to sit on them.

Well, that's it. It was nice of you to drop by and hear me out. The human says that there isn't a scheduled spokes cat for the next post yet, so stay tuned. Also, if you enjoyed reading about my vocal abilities, then click the heart at the bottom of the page and subscribe. Thanks for being such a great audience and give your cat a hug - if you have one. I love hugs.

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